I have been trying to find the best way to write out something that has been on my heart for the past month or so. Trying to write a blog post has been almost impossible but this is a topic I feel strongly about and want to try to articulate, not only for myself but for anyone who may need to hear this.
The Bible verse in the first sentence is pretty straightforward: "Try your hardest because you can't when you're dead." Simple.
As I touched on in my last blog post, this semester has been extremely busy for me. From an internship to various leadership positions on campus--on top of classes-- there has been a lot of things and people requiring my time and energy. The idea for this blog post came after I went through a week or so when all of that responsibility became very stressful and overwhelming. A large part of why I felt overwhelmed, and still do, is because I know I'm spreading myself too thin and I am constantly dancing on the border between becoming lazy in my roles in order to get things done and actively putting forth my best effort in whatever I do.
I've been praying on life a lot this semester, specifically on whether or not everything I'm doing is what God has actually called me to do. I heavily considered fasting in order to receive guidance and my church happened to be fasting as a congregation the same week. I will say that I did receive the confirmation I needed in that God has me exactly where I need to be.
After a few conversations with my mom, she said one thing that really stood out to me: "You can do it, you just need to be more organized with everything." She showed me that instead of giving up altogether, I need to get creative in my approach and be active in actually implementing that approach into my everyday life. There will inevitably be times when I make mistakes and fail. This season that I'm in is going to grow me into a better version of myself regardless of if I want it to or not, what is up to me now is if I'll decide to be an active participant in that growth.
The most important part of this is that even though laziness seems easier, it does you-- and more importantly it does God-- a disservice. Doing less than excellent work because it requires less energy or puts you on a path with less struggle or conflict does you and God a disservice. Acting as though every action, every word, every thought that you produce is directly intended for God helps you weed out actions, words, and thoughts that do not honor God. Ten times out of ten, the position that God has you in, regardless of how stressful or exhausting it is, you are in it for a reason. The season you are in was specifically planned for you to grow you into the person God called you to be.
In the past, I've had a habit of getting into situations that God has called me to be in, and not taking full advantage of them as learning opportunities. I put forth less than excellent effort and produced less than excellent work; and then looked back and thought about what I would have done better. Eventually I had to ask myself: Why would God give you your gifts and bless you with certain opportunities just for you to put forth a half-ass effort? I know for a fact that there are people who work harder than me that will never get the opportunities that I have, so what does that look like when I don't take full advantage of them?
Getting caught up in the stress of various responsibilities is almost pointless because someone else could easily have my spot and perform better, but this is where God called me. The person who has to get the job done at the end of the day is me. Reminding myself of this definitely helps me get up in the morning and try. No one said I have to be perform perfectly at everything because that just isn't realistic. If you try, God will recognize your effort, but only if it's all there.