I’m In This Movie and I Don’t Like It: My Thoughts on L*ve and ‘The Photograph’

Link to original piece on Medium

February 14, 2020

Issa Rae and LaKeith Stanfield portray Mae and Michael in ‘The Photograph’ (2020)

***Plotline spoilers included***

“I don’t want to ask him to rearrange his life for me.” This line from Issa Rae’s character in Valentine’s Day feature The Photograph was a gut-punch.

It succinctly captures one of my biggest apprehensions about dating and relationships — the idea that in the era of “situationships” and “shooting your shot,” you may have found someone who makes you want to try and give love an honest effort, but the underlying fear of circumstances overpowering resolve makes you not want to try at all.

In the midst of grief, international job offers and generational trauma, The Photograph doesn’t seem like it would set up Issa Rae’s Mae Morton and LaKeith Stanfield’s Michael Block for a straightforward love story. At the same time, there wouldn’t be a movie if that were the case. The dual plotline originating in the 1980s with Mae’s mother Christina and her past lover Isaac — a fisherman who Michael profiles for an article on Louisiana — posits an opportunity for Mae to heal from the pain of her strained relationship with and sudden death of her mother and, by happenstance, sets her up for an unexpected love story of her own.

[VIDEO EMBED: https://youtu.be/BZulYPti89M] 

One thing The Photograph made me think about is the extent to which we allow societal expectations, past traumas and the bitterly-tinged or limited advice of others to enable the construction of internal defenses against love, from which a lot of us swear ourselves off entirely even if we know it’s something we truly desire. Maybe I’m just an unrelenting hopeless romantic, but especially for those of us in our early 20s — while those experiences are valid in shaping our perspectives on relationships, we can’t possibly have known the best of a healthy, intentional, mature love to come to such conclusions.

I loved this film because it shows you can go through all the aforementioned obstacles (the most powerful being a self-imposed fear of trying) and have it work out, even if only for a moment. I think my perspective of love is similar to Mae’s in that we both fear not knowing if we’re inherently capable of romantic love. The underlying (and self-discounting) belief here is that it’s a permanent state of being and not a result of conditioning from which we have the ability to heal and be set free.

The contextualizing circumstances of Michael breaking things off with his ex Tessa (who is often mentioned but never depicted on screen), seeking a life change and ultimately getting a job in London seemed like in any other instance it would completely undermine what he had with Mae. However, Michael said himself things were just budding between them. It’s made clear that his top priority was his career while they figured things out. The parallel storyline between Mae’s mother Christina leaving Louisiana to pursue a photography career in New York illustrated how people will pursue their dreams when push comes to shove, but it doesn’t mean they do so coldly and forget all about the people they left behind (In love stories where we see women on-screen and IRL drop their entire life to pursue a relationship with a man, Christina’s decision to leave is especially refreshing). These two situations — Christina’s move to New York and coming home to learn Isaac is now married, and Michael ultimately choosing to take the job in London, leaving Mae behind — show the realities of life’s circumstances that love has to learn to thrive in spite of.

Y’lan Noel and Chanté Adams portray a young Isaac and Christina in ‘The Photograph’ (2020)

The denial that everyone in each of these circumstances has of their personal emotions towards their lover creates the unnecessary pain we see displayed throughout the movie. Isaac’s regret of not going after Christina drags out for the better part of three decades and any opportunity he thought he still had to see her and reconcile dies with her. Present-day Isaac’s role in the film transforms into the voice of reason who urges Michael and Mae not to go down the same path by allowing “too much time to pass that you can’t go back.”

That fate especially hanging over Mae’s head, coupled with both of their own individual gripes about their inability to love, leaves her and Michael in a back-and-forth dance of wanting to try but not wanting to “fuck it up.” This is displayed in the more romantic moments like their first date, at Mae’s apartment during the hurricane and at the Louisiana club, but avoids serious, in-depth considerations about where their relationship is going.

Other criticisms of the film thus far claim Michael and Mae’s romance is underdeveloped and the movie itself is boring. I get it- I struggled to understand how exactly it took Michael going to Louisiana to come back to meet Mae when they both lived in New York, the timeline of their love affair (because who’s dropping cash on a ticket to London AND Kendrick tickets for a guy you’ve known for a few months, if that? Not I). I also wished Christina’s mother’s character (Mae’s grandmother) and their relationship were unpacked a little more, specifically as it set the tone for Christina’s relationship with Mae. I feel as though Mae was extremely harsh with her mother — of course, we don’t see much of their relationship except for when Mae was a little girl, only a comment about how Mae thought Christina didn’t come to the airport when she left for college but it turns out she stayed home and cried — instead of trying to consider what she might’ve gone through and how those experiences shaped who she was and her ability to show up for others. The tension illustrated through Christina of her wanting to love but not knowing how — whether it be her love interests or her own daughter — was extremely palpable.

What I love about The Photograph is that it isn’t like the cheesy, over-the-top romance movies we’re used to seeing which make dating and relationships out to be fairy tales. Its regularity makes it easier to see parallels in your own world, just saturated by melanin-enhancing cinematography and underscored by a smooth, yet simple jazz soundtrack. This film simply but profoundly highlights the regular dating experience between two grown, professional Black people who are in the midst of trying to figure things out.

Scenes that were refreshing and added comedic relief included most of Lil Rel’s scenes, one where his character’s daughters (Michael’s nieces) spill all the tea about Michael’s ex with Mae and when Michael and Mae are on their first date debating on whether Kendrick Lamar or Drake is better.

Considering its V-Day drop, I don’t think this film gave us the super mushy love story some may be expecting, but considering the void of Black love stories that allow its protagonists to just be human beings in love, it’s everything. A love story between younger Black folks that doesn’t necessarily result in the unwavering certainty of a long-term relationship in their future was refreshing and showed that getting to a place of at least being willing to try makes for a feel-good-enough ending for this generation.