What I Wish I Knew Before Coming to College
Originally published on www.kesifelton.com
April 30, 2017
It's crazy to think that I'm two tests away from finishing my freshman year of college. It seemed like it took forever waiting for high school to end so that I could get here and it went by just like that. Anyways, since I already wrote a reflection of my first semester and in my Reader Survey a few of you said you wanted more college posts, I wanted to give some advice to the class of 2021 in honor of National College Decision Day. I asked my followers on Twitter and Instagram to give some advice as well, which you can find at the end of the post:
1. Don't come to college to reinvent yourself...if that means acting like someone you're not.
I've said before that every stage of your life requires a different and better version of yourself. For me, this doesn't mean that I came to college and started acting like a totally different person, I'm just in a space that grows me into a better version of who I already am. Don't be that person that puts on a performance for your college peers because it's going to be a really awkward day if and when that gets exposed. *sips tea*
2. Staying out of the social scene to focus on yourself and your goals is fine and, at times, necessary.
You have complete control over who can have access to you and when. For me, I'm just not built to be around people all day every day, so I purposely spent a lot of time during the day by myself so that I could be more productive and then I'd spend the evening with my friends. I know at Howard, it's very easy to think that you'll be missing out if you aren't at every party or turn up on the yard but I promise you won't if you're instead spending that time doing what you're supposed to do and getting ahead.
3. Try to stay consistent with your daily routine.
I think one thing that could have had a more positive impact on my performance this year is having a set daily routine. My Monday/Wednesday/Friday classes didn't start at the same time as my Tuesday/Thursday classes so I never had a consistent start to my day. I tried (emphasis on tried) to wake up at the same time every day for a little while and I found that I had time to work out, eat breakfast, and ease into my day as opposed to waking up and having to go straight to class.
4. Take the time to develop a self-care routine.
Something that I realized has an even bigger impact on my performance is my mental and emotional health. When I feel motivated to go to class, spend extra time studying, etc. I can do so with no problem. Since I'm in college now and have more of a choice of whether I go to class or not, when I wasn't as motivated it was so easy for me to just not go which obviously didn't help me at the end of the day. I think that simply making sure I'm doing things every day to consistently stay motivated about my studies and generally in good spirits would've made a huge difference. Thinking that you'll always be motivated, though, is unrealistic and that's just a part of being human; but don't allow yourself to stay in that mindset to the point where it affects your grades.
5. Bring less than what you think you need.
I overestimated what items I would need for my dorm and I ended up with a lot of clutter in my room that easily could've been avoided. Don't be like me and look at things you haven't used or worn in months and say "Oh I'll probably need that at some point" because I'll let you know now... you won't. If anything, invest in more basics that you can mix-and-match instead of statement pieces that you'll have to re-wear, as well as weather-appropriate clothing items for your school's location. Also bring daily things you'll need like tupperware, utensils, cleaning supplies, etc. (it may seem like common sense but that was something I definitely overlooked).
6. Don't be so quick to get involved on campus that you forget to figure out what you're actually interested in and capable of doing.
A big mistake that I made coming into college was trying to get involved with orgs way too soon. In 'An Honest Reflection on My First Semester in College' I talked about how at Howard, I felt like I always had to be super busy with orgs and side hustles because that's a huge part of Howard's culture. However, I messed up by not taking the time to sit down and figure out what it was that I really wanted to give my time and energy to, or even what activities I would just like doing. Because of this, I ended up feeling overwhelmed at times and like I was stuck doing things I didn't enjoy at the end of the day. Looking back, by just naturally doing what I enjoy, opportunities came and I was able to make a more informed decision about if it was best for me and if it would bring me closer to my goals.
7. Budgeting your money is going to be hard.
I was actually just cleaning out my desk and found a bank statement that showed how much I spent in one month and I was actually disgusted. With that said, watch how much you spend on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis. I'm grateful for my parents because I was able to enjoy real food every so often and do fun things in the city but I really did spend too much. Have some money saved before you come to school for weekly spending and, more importantly, keep track of what you spend. If you have to make adjustments such as eating in the caf instead of eating out and taking public transportation instead of Uber or Lyft, be willing to make those adjustments so that your money lasts longer.
8. Take every mistake as a learning opportunity. Always strive to learn how you can do something better than you did it before.
I think the best thing about this year was that I learned so much about what does and doesn't work for me in regards to everything I mentioned above. There will be times when you mess up but don't be so stuck on those failures that you waste time. If a certain method of taking notes or studying, a part of your daily routine, etc. doesn't work for you don't be afraid to pull back or start over to figure out something more effective.
–kf
Also read: College Decision Day: 11 Things to Do Now
Here are some other pieces of college advice from my followers that I didn't cover but are still extremely important. Thank you to everyone for your submissions! And congratulations to C/O 2021, I hope you found this post helpful! Good luck!
Do NOT make a hast decision when choosing your college!
Cherish your time alone. You will learn so much more about yourself which is crucial to your mental and emotional development.
Don’t have “friends” for the sake of having friends. Surround yourself with loving people that will help you grow and uplift you.
DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF ONE TEST. In college, you usually have 3-5 tests that make your entire grade. Don’t fuck up.
Keep an open mind when meeting new people. More than likely, you’ll be meeting people from all over the U.S. who may have different backgrounds and morals than you do. Be accepting and show love.
There are two types of people on Earth: Leaders and Followers. Be a leader for those around you.
Don’t give a fuck what people think. You are in college for YOUR education and YOUR advancement. Don’t get too caught up in social drama.
Find out the minimum number of hours you need to take for your first semester and take them. Don’t start out with a heavy workload if you don’t have to.
Your parents are gonna tell you “I didn’t send you to college to make friends,” because it’s obvious that you and your parents didn’t invest thousands of dollars to be friends with everybody...but that doesn’t mean you have to be lonely. College can be very stressful and it’s important to have a solid support group of like-minded people around you.
Sometimes it’s about who you know, sometimes it’s about what you know, sometimes it’s about both. Consider these things and move wisely.
The grind don’t stop but please make sure you take a break and have some fun. A party or two doesn’t make you a bad person if your priorities are together.
You might think you’re gonna be okay with eating café food all year but you’re not. Ask your parents to send you some money every now and then for real food.
Search for PDFs or find someone who can make you a PDF out of an e-textbook and return it. Don’t pay for books unless it’s absolutely necessary.
Don’t shrink to make other people feel comfortable. You make yourself uncomfortable in the process. You don’t have to be arrogant, but you better shine, baby. These are supposed to be your glory days.
It’s okay to be yourself and feel lost at first. You don’t have to find a love interest immediately. Eventually, though, you should go out, have fun, and make some amazing life-long friends.
Even though it’s nice to make straight A’s, do not stress yourself out beyond the point of no return just to get them. Your mental health is so much more important than a grade.
Making genuine friends is hard, but you will definitely need a safety net of people.
No matter where you go, even if it’s not your first choice, keep an open mind. Almost my whole freshman year was wasted because I thought I was too good for the school.
